A Vow of Self Acceptance
We grow up believing in the tradition that the vow we will one day make will be to love and honour another forever and always until death do us part, but what about honouring the relationship we have with ourselves? Of course romantic love is beautiful, fun and exciting and I think being in a romantic relationship with another human being is the greatest gateway to deepen our spiritual practice, although it feels like a lot of pressure. No? To believe that the only way we will ever be full is if we vow to love and be loved by another? I mean, what if we took those traditional vows and committed to saying them to ourselves? What if we each filled our own cups first? Think on that for a minute. If we all committed the greatest act of self love would we not all end up in healthy relationships, and on the flip side end the relationships that have run their course in kind, compassionate ways, void from ego, anger, blame and pain? Every day we are graced with opportunities that will help us grow and change our lives in ways we would have never expected. With so much gratitude, I share with you mine. A total game changer so to speak and one I will forever hold near and dear to this open romantic heart.
A few years ago I was one of the lucky first 25 Canadian women to be invited to the inaugural season of the Bachelor Canada in hopes of falling in love with our chosen suitor. When I got the call that I had been cast I thought with every fiber of my being that I was absolutely ready for my forever relationship. I had visions of traveling the globe with a super cute boy and in my mind my name was on every date card including the final proposal. Then, the reality of it all sunk in, and in our bachelor I saw someone who had everything he would ever need to be successful in life and in love in the palm of his hand but I wasn’t 100% sure he was ready…then I flipped the mirror. The person I was seeing was me. I was the one who wasn’t ready.
A Course in Miracles teaches that every relationship we have romantic or not is an assignment sent to teach us something about ourselves so that we can deepen our connection to our souls and become who we were always authentically meant to be. I wasn’t ready because I hadn’t yet fallen in love with yours truly. I don’t believe in accidents, everyone we meet is slotted into our lives at the exact moment we need them. It is up to us to take the nugget they leave behind with gratitude and carry on wiser than we were before. What quickly became one of my greatest mirrors and assignments and in that simple act of reflection, I knew that I had to go home and baby girl had some self work to do. As fate would have it, a few weeks in I did. In the months to follow I was off the grid from all social media platforms and it was the greatest gift. No longer was I concerned with what other people were doing, wearing, or saying and I was able to spend quality, uninterrupted time with my number 1: me. Life felt so effortless and simple and I was able to connect back to who I was, what I desiredmost and how I felt without distractions or external influence.
That summer I bought myself a ring. A ring I wear everyday as a reminder, a promise and symbol of my love and commitment to myself, my personal growth and self worth. Like with every relationship it takes work. It is an every day dedication and practice that requires us to show up with integrity, kindness and appreciation. Truth is, I did fall in love that spring, but not the kind of love I originally thought I would. I fell in love with all that I am, all that I am not and all that am yet to be. I found my missing piece and from that day forward I promised to love and cherish all the depths of my soul. My romantic partner will never complete but always complement and enhance all that I will grow to be and my hope is to be so full of self-acceptance that the love I have will overflow and provide a mirrored peace to my future forever. This is my solemn vow.