Putting Down Perfection
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Power in purpose and without a doubt my most favourite passage form A Return to Love: Reflections on The Principles of "A Course in Miracles" by Marianne Williamson. If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, oh baby please, may I suggest you quickly add it to the top of your literary To Do List?!
Whenever I start to spiral down the pesky rabbit hole of self-doubt and spiritual destruction I lean on these words: ‘There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you’. Whooosh. Let that seep into your pores and allow for its’ delicious nectar to digest into your soul. I personally feel that fear boils down to perfectionism. It’s a fear of not being or getting it right the first time. Perfection can capture the spirit in a headlock so forceful, so fierce and so suffocating that we can only hope but to gasp for air.
I’ve been there.
Actually, I work hard everyday to stay away (or at least stand my ground and stare the beast right in the face). Putting down perfection is a skill, an inner strength and a deep desire that can only come once our knees have hit the floor in that sweet surrender of self acceptance.
In the overwhelm of expectations and outward projections I often wonder where it all stems from. At my core I know the truth and I’ll spare everyone the public analysis, but it is real and it isn’t a quest to be the best. It’s a battle of the ego. Ego, not in the sense of ‘I am mighty and you are small’ but rather a battle of ‘Oh shit! If I fail what will people say?’. Then one day, I put down the bottle and came to a sobering conclusion: ‘Hold up! I can’t be the only one to think this way, and if that is true than everyone else is focused on their own fear of failure as well. They are all racing for their “perfect” body, “perfect” job, “perfect” relationship, “perfect” practice, “perfect” everything, “perfect” life like a group of runners racing to finish an invisible marathon. But why are we racing and who are we trying to impress?’. If everyone is so outwardly consumed with finding, achieving and feeling ‘perfect’, that leaves no time or room for anyone to pay attention to what others are or are not doing. We are all living in our own little pods of worry completely disconnected from the truth and most importantly ourselves.
The grip loosens and the breath begins to deepen, finding a steady tempo once again.
There is no prefect. There lives only our best. The perfect police does not exist and the even better news is that they are not out to find us either. It is our constant obsession with comparing the traffic in our own lane to that of our neighbor that inspires our self -sabotage. Yet, when we so call ‘fail’ or fall it only means that we are trying to fly which can only translate into “I am living out loud and doing some pretty cool shit!” Therefore, fair sweethartz, may I encourage you all to fly? Put down perfection, drop the worry and challenge yourselves to leap, jump and soar. As the ever beloved Buddhist teacher, author, nun and mother Pema Chödrön once wrote: “Fail, fail again, fail better.”
The way I see it, failure and perfection are both nothing but illusions created by the ego in a fit of complete and total boredom.
Share your light. Left hand over heart, right hand over belly and breathe as you own your worth and live in your truth because who you are right here, right now is already so much more than enough.
From my healing heart to yours
*Can't get enough of this hot topic? Watch here for my expanded Truth Talk episode*