Love Yourself First
There’s a lot of talk out there about self-love and self-care. I mean, we’ve even dedicated a whole day to it!
It’s really become one of those buzzy word things to say but what does it all mean? What is all the self-love buzz about? Well, if I’m honest , I think it runs much deeper that just bubble baths and “being yourself”. Of course all of those self-care ritual things like meditation, building boundaries, clean nutrition, exercise, affirmations etc. are all super important and you guys know how much I love a good healthy dose of self-care, but today I want to go in on the idea of loving yourself first - What that truly represents and why it has become a priority to me today.
First a little background.
In my early 20’s, like so many, I was consumed with the idea of being liked by others & loved by a romantic partner. We grow up with this notion of fairy tales and being swept by our prince to live ‘Happily Ever After’ and even though I was never a girl who thought she needed to be or wanted to be rescued by a man (I’ve always said I wanted to be accompanied) that doesn’t mean I still didn’t feel less than because I wasn’t permanently romantically linked.
Then, I decided to go find love on reality TV.
I did that.
I was that girl and you know what? I have zero regrets because while I didn’t come out of it with a romantic relationship and fiance what I did gain was a greater perspective on the relationship I have with myself. The one relationship I had been in since I was born and that was the one I wanted to invest a little more time on.
Don’t get me wrong, I love love and I think it’s a beautiful thing to share life with someone. I just also think there’s a priceless value in learning to love yourself and getting to know yourself first. When we take a little extra time to listen to the calling in our heart, follow our intuition, speak what’s on our mind, live in our truth and discover what it means to be authentically ourselves, I think then we can bring so much more to our romantic relationships. This isn’t a piece about rejecting romantic love, it’s an offering to take that time for yourself to cultivate your own strength and really reflect on who you are, what you want and knowing what you are worth.
We need to be able to spend time with ourselves on our own to know who we are, what we want, what we will not tolerate and what we deserve. Loving yourself first is about becoming whole. When we are full no one can deplete us. We cannot pour from an empty cup. When we are whole we don’t settle for less than. When we are whole we can be present. When we are whole we have room for more love. When we are whole we have more peace. When we are whole we don’t look for other things, people or opportunities to fill us. We move through life overflowing, leading from the heart and empowering others to do the same.
If I may challenge you to a little moment of self-reflection and think back to those relationships that didn’t work out, or maybe reached their expiration date before the end date, any behaviors or habits you had (or have) that now looking back or examining closer kind of make the pit of your stomach turn and your soul cringe, all of that is just a lack of self-love. The cool thing is, all those cringe worthy moments and spoiled relationships where all there to show you exactly where you need to add more love to your cup. When we don’t love ourselves first, nothing or no one is ever enough because we don’t feel like we are enough. TA-DA! Gratitude for the lessons!
Self-love is a daily practice. The relationship we have with ourselves, like all relationships takes devotion, dedication and consistent care. When we love ourselves first we bring so much more to the table and we allow the relationships with those who are sitting with us so much more room to breath. So here’s the truth of it: When we love ourselves first, everything else becomes the icing on an already pretty awesome cake!